I’m in my early twenties and I have a girl who I once dated for about two years before things went wrong but she keeps telling me now she loves me and her body language these days shows she wants a relationship even though she caused our break up at the initial stage.
We hooked up while she was still in secondary school, we never indulged in any romance during our being together not even a kiss (I mean it, I am this introvert and she is also the church girl -we attend the same church, sincerely speaking) but we spent most time together, I’m a regular face at her home back then, her mum sees me as a son, with advices and so many things a mother will do to a child. She was aware we were dating and prefers not to talk about it from the start.
We enjoyed our relationship back then, I must say, but trouble started when I gained admission some years back and she began raising doubts about me staying with her since she thought I would get on with one of the beautiful ladies in school (she told me herself) of which I didn’t and I didn’t have any other girl till over a year after we broke up. We actually broke up because of her doubts and while I was thinking she was going out with another guy.
I was really broken because I really loved her but I’ve got a girl who I hung out with for about a year, we both love one another till we left one another on mutual consent recently (lemme save the details). Even though I told her (my ex) initially I had a girlfriend but she (my ex) kept on disturbing me. She gave INSTANCES of guys she met and have tried what I didn’t try (romance and sex) saying I was the best of them all (I believe the praises are antics to get me back tho) but I didn’t give in. I told her point blank I can’t get back into the relationship because there’s no way we won’t have pre-marital sex (eyes don open now) of which I am trying to avoid. I wish to keep her for her man because she is this girl I don’t want to defile because I doubt if I would get married to her.
We hooked up a few times during my last relationship and where we found ourselves in deep romance (not once) one part of me wants to continue with the romance dates (as I call it) another part of me wants to keep to that promise of not getting her to bed (I’ve told her once that I would bed her if we continue like that, not that I didn’t enjoy it, I did, she did too but I wish I can keep that promise of not getting to her to bed if I am not going to eventually marry her but she’s making things harder, emotionally. She would say I won’t call her anymore, I don’t care for her anymore. I decided not to do those things because I felt that would stop me from getting too emotional (though it’s hard for me running away from romance which may lead to sex very soon, I’m the guy here) but I wish deep within me not to sleep with her for ‘play’, her family is one that has taken me as one of theirs especially her mum.
Her mum had called me some months back that she noticed we are not close as we were before and she won’t allow any (new) man to come pick up her child anyhow especially from her school (she just gained admission into tertiary institution though) and that she prefers a man who can stay with her daughter during the good and bad times with a
reference to me.
The problem is that I don’t see myself going back to date her not because she is a bad girl (I must say she isn’t, I can vouch for her anywhere but I like her now as a friend), but her mum keeps according me the respect of her daughter’s future husband which I don’t like and that’s because we already broke up. I prefer to move on with my life with her as a friend. One thing I didn’t say earlier is that I don’t think her mum is aware we already broke up with the way she acts or probably she’s aware but playing games on me so as to get me back to dating her daughter (this thought just came while typing this letter.)
Please advice me on how to get her to leave me alone ’cause she’s lovestruck with the many things I can observe these days but I can’t find that first love again
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