After 5 years of marriage and a child, I had an affair with a work colleague. We were both in our late 20s, I don’t know exactly how to explain it but I guess the best way to put it is that we were two lost souls at the time who sought comfort and companionship during our time together. For years I had tried to rescue what was left of my marriage but I had a husband who at that time refused to listen, who did not bother. I have since realized those reasons cannot justify what I did. During the affair, my then lover and I shared our problems, typical of such amorous relationship, we found a common ground; we compared notes, we exchanged feelings and even dreamt of a better “future”. Not necessarily a future together, but we certainly fantasied a better future. We made love about three times and that was it. It never happened again. The rest of our affair was spent in conversations, snatched on the phone or in some secret meetings.
After a few months, since deciding neither of us wanted to break up our marriages, we stopped the deceit and refocused our love on our families. I am glad to report that after a period of intense reflection, I now have a very much stronger and much more honest relationship with my husband than I could ever have hoped for. And my husband? He is fully aware of everything that happened between me and the guy in question and, while devastated, he readily accepts he had a role to play in the breakdown we had at that time. Life has been good after my confession to my husband which was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. I wanted to keep it to myself; I felt confessing to God was all I needed but I couldn’t find peace.In fact, it became extremely difficult to play my role as a wife with my husband in the bedroom. This pang of guilt would not allow to enjoy sex with my husband. I had to open up to my husband and yeah, it wasn’t easy for him, however, he found a place in his heart to forgive me and I genuinely hope this is the same for the other couple concerned. I didn’t bother to ask the guy if he had told his wife.
Now my problem isn’t about why I had an affair, or who is to blame, or a husband who will not forgive. My problem now is a colleague that stumbled upon at the hotel the first day I slept with my colleague. The lady saw both of us walk into the hotel hand in hand. The hotel is located in such a place I never knew I would meet anyone I know; that explains why I could hold the guy that way. However, as we walked in, I saw her, my colleague, our colleague coming out of the hotel with her husband. I wanted the ground to open and swallow me immediately our eyes met. However, we walked by pretending we didn’t know ourselves. I haven’t discussed it with her, I don’t think I will ever do but I know one thing for sure; I know that other ears in our office must have heard about it and that is the challenge I have now. I try to keep a bold face since that day in the office but within me, I have lost every boldness I had at work before the incident. Even-though my husband has forgiven me, I still feel very dirty whenever I see that my colleague. Whenever she’s discussing and giggling with other ladies in the office, I wonder if i’m the subject of discussion.
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