My wedding is happening soon and my husband to be erroneously believes I am a virgin. I actually didn’t set out to deceive him with that idea. In fact, he was not the only one at the place when I implied it. We were having a heated debate on how easily guys believe that every girl sleeps around when I implied that I was a virgin at my age. It was supposed to be a face-saving comment but little did I know that my husband to be who was just a friend made a mental note of what I said. It was later when we have gone far in our relationship that he mentioned to me that I gained his respect with that disclosure.
I got really worried that I might be in for some trouble not too long ago when we had some deep discussions on our relationship and he emphasized how much respect he has for me for keeping myself and how lucky he feels to have found me. I came close to spilling the beans on that day but decided against it on a second thought.
Noble, do I tell him that I’m not a virgin and brave whatever his actions might be or should I leave him to find out himself?
Please talk to me, I always have some panic attack whenever that thought flashes across my mind.
Hi Miss J,
I must confess to you that this is indeed a very tough and sensitive issue. It is tough in the sense that whatever step you take now, that is, to reveal now before your wedding day or allow him find out on your wedding night will definitely have an impact on your marriage either ways. Or maybe not
However, let me make it clear that we are dealing with the key issues of honesty and trust and don’t forget they are the bedrock of every solid relationship especially marriage.
I will refrain from telling you exactly what to do but I will tell you the possible outcomes. Depending on your approach and the temperament of your man, there are two possible outcomes.
The first one: He might be shocked and disappointed you lied to him and after a while which could be a matter of days, he will come to terms with it, put it behind him and move on.
The second one: He could be hurt and very disappointed with you and could make a huge mountain out of it. But don’t be deceived, his trust for you will definitely suffer a great deal whenever he finds out.
If you are going to disclose it to him, choose the right time and I dare say prayerfully.
On a final note, there’s possibility your body would have become tighter again and will become difficult to penetrate as most vaginas tend to do after a long time of non-usage. He might not even know what to expect other than that it was very difficult for him to penetrate. This is sincerely wishing you haven’t been active for a very long time.
I wish you the best.
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