In continuation with our theme of the month, we bring to you a wonderful couple whose love story is capable of making a single person out there fall in love. Love indeed is a beautiful thing. You will find out by the time you’ve gone half way of their love story.
In this series, we reached out to some couples and asked them some very vital questions, yes those kinds of questions you would love to ask married people.
The love story of Obiajuru and O’tega Jerry Luya is the first in this series. Enjoy!
I don’t think it was one particular thing, more like the totality of his person, not that he’s perfect but he loves me perfectly, beyond my flaws and craze (I know I could be pain). He’s open, honest and with him I found peace, that’s one thing I can’t compromise; PEACE.
What’s your name?
What’s your spouse’s name?
O’tega Jerry Luya
Can you recall the first time you ever set your eyes on your spouse?
Nope, must have been at my parent’s house on campus though; my dad was a lecturer and Tee was my elder sister’s friend – same campus fellowship, my dad let them use a room in our boys quarters as their secretariat so a whole lot of them were my ‘big’ friends at the time, but I can’t categorically remember how we met or how we became friends.
Did it occur to you at that time he/she could ever become your better half today?
Not at all (laughs)
Was it a case of love at first sight?
Naa… I was too young (about 14 years old and still in secondary school) lol! I wasn’t even booting in that direction at all. He was a young man who wore long-sleeved shirts and rolled up the sleeves and virtually every time I saw him, I would roll down the sleeves and button them neatly while I said, ‘you should learn to dress responsibly (hahahaa).“ I also remember that we used to sit on the steps of the veranda or the low wall of the garage in front of the house and gist. Don’t ask me what we talked about because I don’t remember at all.
If it wasn’t love at first sight, how did the relationship begin after the first meeting?
Well, we were good friends while I finished up secondary school (that must have been about two years). I left town almost immediately, gaining admission into the University not too long after so we probably saw ourselves once or twice in the following year when my holidays coincided with a running semester in his own school because naturally, I would go home. This was 2002/2003 and by 2004, he graduated and we totally lost touch.
Fast forward to October 2010, I get a buzz from him on facebook: “Still friends? Happy independence day” I apologized profusely for not keeping in touch and some infrequent facebook chats began which led to frequent ones and then fondness was rekindled and the hearts grew fonder, maybe ‘cause of the distance, he was based in Warri and I, in Lagos. One year after ‘jamming’ on facebook, October 30th2011 precisely, the guy shows up in Lag and asks me to complete him (It was a long speech and I don’t know if that was a marriage or dating proposal…hahahaa!). Anyway, I obliged him, not knowing how it would pan out especially because of the distance thing, but somehow we came through. So between first meeting and start of a relationship, it must have been 10 to 11years.
Did he officially ask you out or?
Yes, he did
For the wife/lady: How did you react to his proposal for friendship or courtship?
I hesitated for a few seconds, smiled and said, “okay”. He was my long-time friend and I had seen it coming so I guess I had done all the considerations beforehand.
How long did you date him before he proposed?
Well, like I said earlier, the relationship proposal was a lot like a marriage proposal because 2months after, we were already meeting parents and pastors and discussing dates. However, there was another dramatic proposal in the early hours of 1st January 2013, right after the crossover service at my church in Lagos. Again, I saw it coming; the man is so transparent… I can read virtually all his moves (hahahaa… don’t tell him I said so o!)
What is it about him that made you accept his proposal?
Hmm… I don’t think it was one particular thing, more like the totality of his person, not that he’s perfect but he loves me perfectly, beyond my flaws and craze (I know I could be pain). He’s open, honest and with him I found peace, that’s one thing I can’t compromise; PEACE. In addition, we share a lot of values… we kind of operate at the same frequency regarding a lot of issues and we’re able to manage our differences too… that’s why I say he’s “my Rhythm”.
How long did your courtship last?
Well, looking at the dates, I’d say about 15 months.
Were you ever under any pressure that she/he might call off the relationship during courtship?
Did that thought ever cross your mind?
Can’t remember anytime it did.
How was it trying to keep other ‘toasters’ or ladies at bay during the period of your courtship?
Well, there wasn’t much we could do because we were in separate locations, we just kept the communication flow, trusted one another and trusted GOD.
How did you feel when the date of your wedding was confirmed?
Scared! Lol! There was a lot to do with limited time and resources. There were two dates actually; I was pretty excited when we fixed the first date but as the time drew nearer, he was away on a business trip so the day came and went. By the time we fixed the actual date, I guess the excitement had been doused.
Describe your wedding day?
My wedding day, hmm… talk of bridezilla (hahahaa). I was upset for most of the day because a lot happened but my high points were exchanging our personal vows and dancing away all the stress towards the end of the reception.
Do you still remember the theme of your wedding ?
Theme ke? Me and my Tee are old school. Even our toast was a one-liner; “My beloved is mine and I am his/hers (Songs of Solomon 2:16a).” Shikena.
Sex is usually shrouded in secrecy but if you were to describe your wedding night experience with a sound, which will it be? a. Kakpooooom! b,kpoooom! c,kpisho!
Hahahaa… none of the above. The man still teases me about that night, but that’s all I’m going to say to all you itchy ears.
How old is your marriage?
3 years by next month.
What is the journey like so far?
Interesting! Marriage is like life… ups and downs, anger and joy, highs and lows, offence, compromise and sacrifice. But when you’re married to your friend and you guys are working as a team, when no one is trying to be the winner because you’ve agreed that you either both win or you both lose, when your spouse is an extension of you and vice versa, when the competition is about who loves the most and who sacrifices the most, then marriage like life becomes sweeter, happier, decorated with more cherished moments and more fulfilling milestones shared with your closest friend. It’s like a piece of art – dark and bright colours coming together to make a beautiful canvas. That’s what the journey has been for me… beautiful!
What is that one or a combination of very vital ingredients every marriage should have to ensure happiness?
Friendship, Understanding and Forgiveness
What would you say to a youth seeking to know the truth about marriage married people might be keeping away from them?
I’d say marriage is not different from life, don’t make your choice or go in with fantasies in mind about any of the issues from love, to money, sex and all the issues that people call critical. Nobody is a standard because you and your spouse would be a completely different combination from the couple you envy. You both would have to decide what works for you and dance enthusiastically to your own music. The truth is, you become a team with your spouse so don’t go trying to win. Marriage like life can be beautiful or terrible depending on how you make it so just decide to make it beautiful and you will enjoy the dividends.
What’s your view on valentine’s day?
I told you before that I’m old school, lol! I think it’s overrated especially by the unmarried. It’s okay to go out, get gifts, and all the other frenzies that come with valentine’s day but I don’t think it should be an issue if these things don’t happen on that particular day; these things should be the norm and in normal life, we don’t take offence when they don’t happen. To think that people quarrel over what happened or did not happen on one single day of the year beats my imagination. If it’s really all about the love, then, remember God, enjoy/create pleasant memories with your spouse, remember your family, friends, the less privileged, everybody and share that love as best as you can; don’t get bitter over expectations because love is about giving whether or not you receive.
Lovely story! Tell us what you think in the comment box.