My husband doesn’t want to have sex with me. We’ve been together for almost 10 years, married for 6. We have 2 kids but they’re 8 and 9 so I know it’s not because of that. Everything was fine and we couldn’t keep our hands off each other until about eighteen months ago.
I know he’s not having an affair because he goes to work and comes right home. I have tried sexy lingerie, showing adult films, stripping for him — everything and he’s just not interested. I always try to initiate and mostly I just get pushed away. In the past year we maybe had sex five or six times. And, that was only because I pushed it.
We’re both fit and healthy. I haven’t gained weight or drastically aged or anything. When we met we were both 36 and now we’re 45 going on 46. I don’t feel like I’m getting older though. I feel like I’m getting younger and I still find him attractive.
I want us to be hot like we used to. We used to couldn’t keep our hands off of each other. Now we barely even talk or look at each other. It would be honestly more fun to have an affair. I still love him, so I would prefer not to go that route.
What can I do?
Sad and Desperate
This story was first published here>>> ESSENCE