Y’all remember Teebillz, right? The ‘famous’ ex husband of Tiwa savage? … Or have they gotten back together? You never know with these celebrities… A
Anyway, he dropped a tweet, which many have taken as a sublimal aimed at his wife… Sorry, ex.
He said, in what has been largely interpreted to define what men want these days, that
“The sexiest thing right now is a covered up lady that lets you put your imagination to work. Back to the 90s before makeup and filters!”
I’m coming back to him, just follow me on this journey.
I read a post from a blogger who I sadly cannot remember her domain, as I’d have linked back to her, but in that post, she reminded us of an event that happened why she was still in primary school, right?
So, she was a chubby child and all that, and as she grew, she grew into saggy boobs, they just weren’t upright, as genetically happens to some people.
Anyway, she was mocked by a child like her, male by the way. He told her that no man would find her attractive and all that you know, bullshit! Like, how can she at her age, have old woman boobs?
This of course, morphed into a self esteem problem that she had to live with for years to come and probably still dealing with, to this moment.
I’m coming back to her, hop on my ride, let’s be going.
So, one day, I posted a picture of a design I saw and liked on IG, on my whatsapp story, and this friend of mine, and I use the word loosely, came into my inbox and told me, that if I added weight and looked like the model in the picture, he would date me. He said it with what I imagine was a sneer, because everyone knows I’m made of bones, but that’s by the way.
I told him, that if I ever looked like the model in the picture, I would be way out of his league, matter of factly. I kid you not when I tell you that this son of Buhari got upset, like full blown,
“what’s that supposed to mean? Am I not fine enough? Abi I no reach for you?…”
All the time, I’m like, Bros, abeg abeg, not today. Not this day!
What shook me was the fact that he didn’t want to know If he was my type or something I would consider with my eyes closed. He all but fixed himself as the ultimate price for adding weight, so every time I ordered an extra piece of chicken, I’d grin to myself and think, maybe this is the piece of meat, that would make me the piece of meat xxxx wants to eat.
Do you guys see the problem with each and every of the above scenarios? It’s the fact that women do not define beauty standards for themselves, how you look or what you want to be, has to somehow fit into the stereotype of what the men want or find attractive… And If you, for a minute call Chimamanda here, I will smack you with the upside of my phone, don’t play with me. Everything that threatens you doesn’t have to be Chimamanda charging at you with a battle ax. Sometimes, it’s just the goddamn truth nobody wants to face…
And that is why, uncle Olatunji of the 3rd mainland bridge can proudly come to social media and say to the female populace, Hey! You know what? These Snapchat filters and weaves and all that, you know, nonsense; we not feeling it anymore, Just pack it up! This is what we’re feeling right now, so do this, for us, make us happy, cos you know, we define y’all beauty standards…
That is why, a child can say to a fellow child that nobody would like her because she’s over weight or her boobs are fallen, because you see, at that age, she’s supposed to be aware that all she is good for, is the gratification of men and if she cannot fit into the box, she can as well, Get out!
That is why as far back in the 70s and 80s, women, teenagers, Children, were fattened up like calf, to make them appear marriage able, because the men wanted something buxom with meat on bones. Then, in the 90s, they had it with that and decided they wanted the Angelina Jolie type, the bones, the skinny model looking type, and then women were of course, subjected to the harrowing and forced weight loss journey which never actually ended.
That is why, in the 21st century, the men have decided that they don’t want sticks again, they want curves but without the folds and fat, just find away to tuck out the parts they don’t need, right? And so we have millions trooping to the doctor’s to get that Kim Kardashian body.
Wait! What happens when they say they want something else, maybe something with horns this time. Oh lord, I cringe!
I know it would be so easy to say that why do women keep doing their bidding, like why can’t they just do what they want, define their own selves.
Problem is, it’s not do easy to change centuries of social conditioning. It’s a step by step process, often met with the problem of when someone female tries to define her own power or come into her self, she is termed, well,