I appreciate all your efforts in imparting knowledge into my son’s young life. However, recently, the embarrassment I’ve been getting from my son is unbearable, hence this letter.
1. I learnt ABCD as Aaa Bee Cee Dee. My son wastes no time to tell me ‘Daddy you’re wrong!’ In his words, daddy ‘sound’ after me: Aaa(A) Bọọ(B) Kọ (C) Dọ (D)…. Imagine my son thinks his father doesn’t know ABCD, ordinary ABCD poop?…no thanks to you
2. To write no 1, I was taught by my teacher who held my hands to just write 1!
What did you teach my son? No 1 is now ‘Stroke’, 2 is now ‘Stroke and dash’ 4 is ‘Stroke, dash and stroke’ and you guys think you will make heaven for complicating my already complicated life? Simple 1234? And you expect me to know it? Allowing myself to be embarrassed anytime his mom isn’t around and I’ve to do the homework? Uncle, is it fair?
3. How can you ask a 3 year old boy to bring a picture of 10 living things and non living things? Aunty, at his age, do you know it? Next time, please print it in school, put it in a sealed envelope and put it in his bag for me. Please stop giving me assignment indirectly through him, what is the school fees for?
4. Nursery Rhymes: I grew up with Rhymes like ’ema weyin o, wen wen nitori kini.., Sandalili Sandalili, Old Roger is dead and gone to his hear, Hun ha, gone to his grave.
I don’t know Ringer ringer roses, I push you, you push me, we all fall down! I don’t know the lyrics! If you teach my son any new Rhymes before he embarrasses me, please Aunty, send the YouTube link to me via SMS. Abeg, edakun, ejoor
5. My father was the ultimate. He sent me on an errand, I would say only 2 words, ”Okay Sir” and run with the speed of light. My son? ”Obinna get me water from the fridge.” He stands still with arms akimbo and says ‘Daddy? Say the magic word!’ Which useless magic word? Am I paying school fees so my son can dictate to me? In my own house, where am paying my rent, housing and clothing him? You sef check am?
Let me stop here as the list is endless
I can’t remember how many times he has forced me to thrash my waste, correct my pronunciation of words – publicly etc
I didn’t embarrass my father who even sent me to a public school.
So I ask, the school fees I pay termly, is it primarily for my embarrassment?