The post was written on a Sunday!
Hi! My name is Hephzibah and I would like to share some of my life experience with you and hope that I would be able to help answer some questions you may have.
Today is Sunday and the weekend is over. How did you spend your weekend? For the Christians, how was church today? How prepared are you for the new week? What are your expectations from the new week?
Let me share with you a little about expectations and how they affect our ability to make demands from life. Like a friend of mine would say, “life will only give you what you demand from it.”
You know how we go into the presence of God and the minister says “whatever your expectations maybe, the Lord was going to meet you at the point of your need.” I hear that when I go to church and I sort of got used to hearing it that I no longer really heard what was being said. So I would go to church and well just enjoyed the service. I would have enjoyed the praise session and also learned a lot from the message and gained from all other presentations made during the service. I would have also enjoyed being able to serve in church and would go home, looking forward to the next meeting day. Well on one fateful Friday, I was on my way to the redemption camp for the Holy Ghost night service. I had been in traffic for a very long time and was getting pretty frustrated with the fact that I always had to go through such long traffic, late in the night to be able to get to the camp ground. And while trying to keep my mind focused on God and the meeting, thereby taking away my mind from the fear of being out late at night, the Holy Spirit asked me a question. ‘What are you expecting from God in this meeting?” and for the first few seconds, I didn’t have an answer. I was in shock. What manner of question was this? Did I need to have an expectation? Couldn’t I just go into my father’s presence and bask in his glory and simply praise and worship and hear from him? Did I need to have an expectation? So after a few minutes I replied back “I had no expectation”
“Why?” he asked me back. And again I was confused. I asked myself, did I have a need and well, yes, I did have needs. Needs for me, for my family, for my future but well, my needs were not so pressing and besides, I had so much to be thankful to God for. Why not just show my gratitude to Him for the things he had done for me, even before I had asked for them rather than asking for more and besides, I was a child of the kingdom, I had all that I ever needed by faith. While not all my have been manifested yet, I knew I had them. And so after much thought, I replied the Holy Spirit “well I do not have an expectation because I really do not have any need and besides I trusted God to provide all my needs [both those known to me and those not known to me; God had my best interest at heart so I was sure I didn’t have a need] if there was something out there in life that I thought I needed and didn’t have, well to me, it was either God didn’t want it for me at all or maybe it wasn’t time yet.”
“Are you sure” another question from the Holy Spirit. And my answer was, yeah. But that wasn’t the truth. And he told me straight. “you do not have any expectation because you are afraid of being disappointment.” I was shocked and ashamed of myself.
True, I didn’t want to be disappointed. And well, I had my excuses and quickly blurted them out in my defence. It wasn’t as though I didn’t trust God to give me my request but well there were so many people who had so many different needs and even more pressing more important and life changing needs than I needed. And well, I wasn’t sure if the things I needed were in line with God’s plans for me, and I wasn’t sure if I was asking in the right manner or at the right time. Bottom line, I could manage with what I was getting from God even though I felt I needed more and after all, he is my father and knows my needs even before I can voice them out so he was going to provide all the same. But take away my excuses and you see the truth beneath it all, I was afraid. Afraid of being disappointed and being rejected and as a result would not ask. Now where did all that fear, guilt and silly thinking come from? They were coming from the devil and from believing his report and his accusations than the report of God. I had issues, I wasn’t being obedient to the spirit of God, and I had been complacent in my attitude to worship. I had gotten distracted by work and living, I had forgotten that living wasn’t living if I wasn’t living for God.
My focus had become every other part of my daily living, separate from God. So I actually had no time to develop and have expectations from God, because more than anything then I would tell myself that I had been given the ability to do things so why worry God about these things again. But beyond me trying to fix my life myself, I really didn’t want to be a bother to anyone, not even God. Being a love child, I grew up accepting whatever was given to me and taking them to be privileges and not rights. While that made me somewhat grateful an individual, it made me believe that I didn’t have the right to ask, to make demands and even what other people readily accessed as their rights because they were the children of their parents, I wasn’t too comfortable making those demands. I tell myself that I wasn’t exactly a planned and first choice situation. My self-worth and self esteem was very low. And this affected my relationship with people around me and my relationship with God. I grew up having only expectations where I had paid for the services. So to my friends, family and with God, I couldn’t pay for all they gave to me, so I did not ask too much from them and I accepted whatever I got from them with gratitude.
After that confrontation and conviction by the Holy Spirit that going before the presence of God without an expectation was wrong and more wrong was my fear that God would not answer my prayer, I went to the vigil service with my hands stretched out to receive.
After that day, I make sure I have an expectation and more so, that I make my request known. And when I ask, I have my heart set to receive. I make demand from life. I go into everyday with the mind to receive. Go into this week with an expectation and make a demand from life to receive your expectation.
NOTE: At Lagos Convo, we feel very strongly to touch the lives of our fans with the kind of stories we tell and that is why we are excited about this new addition to our fold. ASK HEPHZY is a weekly session with our Counsellor. Hephzibah will tackle questions sent in by fans every Sunday.
Do you have some concerns or questions in the areas of your career, relationship or academics, send them to [email protected] or inbox us on Facebook. Hephzy’s responses will be published every Sunday.
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