If you have not used Tetracycline ever since this year began, put your hands up in the air! Yes, put your hands up so that I can unfriend you for being dishonest.
Don’t you just love the way tetracycline operates?
When your stomach is feeling so grumpy and a commotion is raging inside, and the toilet become your best friend, you rush and buy tetracycline, and ingest it.
The red and yellow capsules slide down your oesophagus and lands in your stomach with a thud. It turns around and stares angrily at the rowdy irritants having a field day in your stomach.
“Okay, guys, the party is over! Now settle down and stop all this nonsense. Keep quiet all of you. Shut that door and stop moving in and out as you like or else I am gonna beat the hell out of you.”
“Soldier man has come! Look at his fine red and yellow uniform!”
The frightened molecules whisper to themselves as they cower in fear before the product manufactured by Streptomyces antinobacteria genus. Tetracycline spreads its aura of influence all over your stomach, bowels and intestines.
Everywhere becomes quiet and calm. Peace that passeth all understanding…..such a relief….
We have always treated tetracycline with ignominy and disrespect. We need to have a change of heart. We need to have a tetracycline appreciation day.
Imagine a world without tetracycline? Imagine a world without the red and yellow capsule. What kind of a world would that be?
Your guess is as good as mine. It would be a world filled with people running up and down clutching their buttocks in their hands looking for toilets after consuming a tasty and spicy meal. A world where people would be living in toilets.
Thank you tetracycline for saving us from embarrassment.
Imagine going out on a date with that hot guy/babe and suddenly running around looking for toilet to relieve yourself.
Imagine going to an interview and when its your turn to face the panel, your runny stomach decides that it is time for you to take up permanent residence in the toilet.
Imagine giving a speech in front of a large audience and your bowels decide to empty out their content in front of the crowd.
Imagine travelling in a bus on a long distance journey and your stomach starts misbehaving.
Oh, tetracycline, thanks for averting and saving us from these embarrassing situations.
Tetracycline, you gave me an “A” in a very difficult course in school.
I was walking down my street when a car suddenly pulled up beside me and a hefty man rushed out, clutching his buttocks in his hands.
“Plis epp me! Epp me! Where is your toilet? I need to go to toilet immediately”
I immediately recognized my professor who was taking us in a very difficult course that sememster.
“Good day Sir, please follow me”
I took him inside my house and directed him to my water cistern toilet.
“Poooom brammmmm brammmm!”
The Cambridge university trained professor was shitting like a fowl in my toilet.
“Plis sir don’t fill up my toilet o” I whispered inaudibly.
He came out sweating.
He walked out to his car and got in. But before he could drive away, the door suddenly flung open and he ran back to the house, almost knocking me over.
“Abasi mmi mbok!”
He dashed to the toilet and had another prolonged shitting session with loud farts.
“Sir, here is tetracycline”
He collected the two tablets and swallowed it with the glass of water as if his life depended on it.
“Thank you. Your face looks familiar. Are you my student?”
“Yes sir, I am offering your course this semester”
“Okay. Give me your registration number….”
Two months later, results were pasted.
F, F, F, F, F, two Ds, No C, three Es, the rest F, F, F, F, and F, until I got to my number.
“Oh boy, you Aced this course where every bodi don get F parallel? How did you do it?”
CNN, Aljazeera, Channels tv, Fox news, NTA, AIT and Silverbird news reporters were all over me with their cameras and microphones.
I had become an instant celebrity!
“I gif thanks to God and I also thank red and yellow capsule…”
“Excuse me, Red and yellow capsule? For what? How?”
“I thank Tetracyline!” I said, swaggering away with a beaming smile.
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