Growing up, I had a cousin that did not roll with us, being the younger ones. Why? I don’t know. She was older than us with give or take, four years, and she only talked with our older siblings closer to her in age and the rest of us, like Chris Brown said were always outside of the club and couldn’t get in. Several years later, everybody’s grown and she complains no one checks up on her, even my sister she was especially close to, doesn’t call her. Not for any specific reason, but time and distance. She has a younger brother I’m close to and when she starts the
“you people do not check on your family.. “
I’m all like,
but me and tunde are cool, kilode? “
“eeh, tunde is your only cousin bah? bla bla bla “
This would be followed by everyone promising to do better, but after Christmas, it flies out of our heads as fleeting as the memory of Christmas rice from the year before.
So last year, she promised not to reach out to anyone again, since we all forgot her. Errr, okay ma.
Going back to base this year , I set a mental reminder. Message at least once a month, greet – you know how older people like respect , talk nonsense and vanish.
Truth is, all the time I hit her up, there was nothing to say and this is why no one ever reached out. We didn’t have that relationship as kids, we were always shut out and I remember once I told her something in confidence and the next thing I knew was my dad ringing my phone to come home for a family meeting. I confronted her about it and she flippantly said
“Ehen, so were you expecting me not to talk? “
Yes, ma’am, I was, but that’s by the way, over and out. So, now I’m almost an adult, I really don’t know what to say to you about, I can’t talk to you about boys or anything, so maybe I’ll just ask, “How’s God today? “
I played the dutiful check-up agent for a while. She graduated, I said Congrats, went for service, congrats – she didn’t tell me about it or asked how I found out, but anyway. So what had it for me was when I had the anniversary of my birth and she didn’t send in a single hello, but the next day, I was seeing posts up on social media.
Camp things on fleek
Life of a kopa, is awa work oooo
*inserts yinmu face emoji*
you think you’re doing me?
Let me set this straight, I was not feeling entitled to goodwill or anything, I was just surprised that someone who preached A lot on family values and checking up could be so ignorant, but then, we only shake the table when we’re to eat from what falls off. Then and there, I decided to kuku stop the kain checking up because really , I cannot die singing for the masquerade.
On the other hand, I have another cousin I practically grew up with, and even if we don’t talk all the time because life gets in the way, I can hit her up at 3am to talk about random stuff and it won’t be weird or anything. She won’t be like, so you cannot check up on someone since.
This also brings me to something I saw recently on instablog – the cousin of Mikel Obi called him out. Don’t get me wrong, I am all for supporting family especially financially, but don’t act like I borrowed money from you and did not pay. I don’t know how many of you read the call out but I was quite particular about the strong wording. Why are people so entitled to another person’s thing?
As we’re still talking entitlement. My friend – and I use the word loosely, had his birthday recently. He had almost 2k likes on his birthday post on Facebook and people sent him A lot of stuff even from the abroad.
Now imagine my shock when in his appreciation post, he practically cussed those that didn’t wish him happy birthday and went on to say something along the lines of keep viewing my status, my progress will shock you.
mafren wee you keep chut.
Another one I’m going to mention is funny, but listen. A girl I know buried her grandma over the weekend – watch my emphasis. After the burial, she thanked A lot of people and ended it with, and to those who could not make it, may you know what it is to lose someone… ewo, eleyi gidi gaan! Okay, hold it right there. I may not know all the facts, maybe some people promised and failed but do people who do not show up for your event deserve all the curses? what if they lost someone of their own? Can’t we just thank those who showed up and move on, but then, what do I know?
A category of entitlement no one ever talks about is in relationships. When a man expects you to cook, wash and clean or the girl that expects you to pick her bills all the time, baby buy this, buy that – ugh. Look, don’t get me wrong, I didn’t say cooking for your man is wrong or buying stuff for your babe is wrong, but you see that entitlement that comes with
you don’t look like you can cook but lemme try. I know that you can’t cook, if not you’ll be cooking for me.
This one would come with the side glance expecting you to refute and defend your honor, promising to prove him wrong. Edakun, uncle! I forgot to wrap my hair in ugu leaves and paint my face with curry and thyme.
I feel that doing something for someone should come from a place of love, where you want to do it. I think relationships with not just the opposite sex but people in general should be symbiotic as opposed to parasitic, but it’s 2018 and everybody’s trying to prove they have sense, but really, if cunnny man die,na cunny man go bury am.
Matter of fact, call me prejudiced or not, I have reservations about the new generation of young boys who try to flip the roles and expect women to take care of them. Like, Jesus didn’t die on the cross for this, fam.
To me, the odds are, if you’re not paying for it, I won’t enter the hot sun to buy chicken and carry my father’s foodstuff to cook for you. The spirit of my ancestors will curse me.
How I used to turn these breed of boys away was to send my account number and be like
”err, that’s UBA Bank, if I see alert, food go enter fire”
Like, put your money where your mouth is, but believe you me, that’s the last you’ll hear from them.
There’s also another breed of boys who expect you to date them because they like you, whether you know it or not. If that sounded off, let me break it down. Say you meet this guy and for your mind y’all are friends but he’s catching trips, you don’t know cos he didn’t tell you, but the entire yard knows and thinks you know and you’re just there like Err… okay, nope.
When this happened to me the first time, it was funny because when I met this guy all we would talk about was how his friend who I was with, was misbehaving. So how do you go from ehya, sorry o, to telling the entire yard that you’re dating me without even telling me. I just act like I didn’t hear it. The odds are, if you didn’t tell me, I didn’t hear it, and I won’t act like it.
The second time it happened, this boy specifically said a relationship between him and i was not in the offing and I was relieved it came from him. So, when he expected relationship benefits and I declined, he began to act like a clock with bad battery, people will now be thinking i broke someone’s heart, see me see trouble, chimpanzee like me.
Imagine if I expected all the boys I ever liked to like me back or date me, I’d be married by now to wizkid and 75 others.
You know how if a boy likes you and you don’t like him back, world people would bully you till you give in and threaten you with how men no dey market again.
But if you like a boy and he doesn’t like you, you’re meant to suck it up and move on.
How this makes any sense beats me. Basically, you should manage whatever comes, because it came.
Dust settles, you shouldn’t.