I was born into a happy family with love and peace.I was raised to believe people were kind and had the interest of their fellow humans at heart. This was what my parents also believed not knowing they had enemies but I’m not writing about them, I’m writing about me. It all started when I was five and he was seven. I thought him to be my guardian angel because he always protected me.
If only I knew then what I know now, just maybe it would not have happened. He is my father’s friend’s son and he did everything for me. His elder brother was leaving with us because things were not going well for them.
Everybody in the family saw how close we were and how much he protected me whenever we were in public. Even my parents saw him as my angel. When I turned seven, he started behaving funny. The fact I was a child made me think it was because I had new friends. One day, I could not take it anymore so while we were at his place for his dad’s birthday I called him aside.
I asked him why he changed from being my guardian angel and he refused to talk. I kept asking and asking, finally I realized he wasn’t going to talk I stopped. I was a child so I did what I had to and I started to cry because I knew how much he hated it when I cried. He didn’t move at first then he finally did and he told me to sit down.
Where we sat, I noticed he kept looking in the opposite direction. When he finally looked at me, he said he loved me and I said it back. He then said he knew I did but it wasn’t the same way as his, I became confused. He explained and told me he would always love me and no one else.
Hey, I was only seven so I kept our secret and we grew with it. When I turned twelve, I got my first kiss from him and it felt like heaven. I got attention from other boys but my world revolved around him. Judge me all you want, I was the happiest when he was around.
Everybody still saw him as my angel and we liked it that way. It gave us the opportunity for all the kissing and touching. When I turned fifteen, he had to leave me in Lagos because he got admission into the university. I cried and he told me not to that I had just a year and a half more and I would join him.
Six months into his 100 level, the calls reduced from three times a day to once and he said it was school work and I believed. On my sixteen birthday, he didn’t call and I was worried because he has never missed it and I had not heard from him two days before then.
After worrying for some hours, I told my mum that he had not called and she was worried (she only knew us as friends). She tried his number and it didn’t go through so she called his mum who in turn told us he was home for a school break. I was surprised because he didn’t tell me anything about it. I told my mum I wanted to visit him so she agreed.
I got to their house and greeted everyone and they made fun of me that I ran immediately I heard he was around. Immediately, his mum said he was in his room and I could go there. On getting to his room, without knocking I opened the door and saw him with another girl and they were both naked. I fainted and woke up in a hospital with him by my side and I started crying. He begged me to keep our secret, I was too weak to reply that when I saw our parents walking in I pretended to be asleep.
When I was awake after some hours, they asked what happened and I told them I didn’t remember, once again, I lied for him. For months, I was down and kept avoiding him and decided to hate him and follow the boys he hated. I kept at this for two years until I met someone and I was finally able to talk about it.
I learnt from the person that I can’t continue to hate him because I’ll keep hurting myself that way. That by hating him, I would be drawing myself back. So I prayed and let go of it all and finally called him. I told him that I forgive him but he needed him to explain to me and we met. When I saw him, he told me it was all his mum’s idea but he started developing feelings for me and could not keep it up and he didn’t want to hurt me.
He said she knew about the girl in his room and wanted to hurt me and him that’s why she told me I could go in. I’ve forgiven them because I want my freedom. I was an instrument to hurt my parents to her. I’ve not lived long but people tell me I’ve the wisdom of an older person. I don’t know what you’ve been through but I know that holding it against whoever did it to you doesn’t help you because you hold yourself down.
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