Hello! It’s been awhile, but I have a story to tell you. I am the latest Aunt, for the fourth time!
But that’s not the main gist. Read on to find out what is.
My baby sister was in labour, and I waited with her at the hospital.
She was in pain, vomiting and in tears. I had had a misunderstanding with one of the nurses earlier, so I avoided going back in the ward so as not to make matters worse.
While waiting, and battling with sleepiness, I felt a pain in my abdomen; the pain which usually accompanied my monthly flow.
I almost laughed
I was worlds apart from my sister.
Worlds. Apart. Yet we were both in pain.
She was about to give birth, having ‘escaped’ the pain from the monthly flow for the past nine months, but she was in a massive rolling, wave-like pain (according to some women’s narrations), which gave her no respite, but will continue intermittently until the child is born.
So I was in tears, watching my sister battling with the pain, but I was grateful I wasn’t the one experiencing it, yet (I look forward to experiencing it). I wasn’t experiencing the pain of delivery, but I was experiencing that of sustenance and normalcy.
Let me explain.
Single ladies, we know how disturbing it can be if you don’t see your flow, more so if you are sexually active. Questions will run through your mind and will remain until you know the cause, but it’s even more puzzling if you are not sexually active, as was my case years ago.
I was in my teens, not sexually active, still writing exams to gain admission, when I realised that I hadn’t seen my flow for months.
I say realise because I was at an age when the flows where simply nuisances as far as I was concerned. I wished they didn’t come, as they came with pain, a need for caution, and hindrance of movement, let’s just say I was still learning how to be a woman. Well because I was still getting used to being comfortable during those days, I didn’t count my cycle, I just marked the start and end dates on a small calendar and endured until it was over.
So when I was ‘relieved’, I didn’t take note until I was going through my things and realised that I have not marked for five months, yes you read that right, five whole months.
I doubted until I recognised the pack of sanitary pad I bought, ages ago, still intact.
I ended up in the Lagos University Teaching Hospital (LUTH). I was asked series of questions, including some about my sexual activity or a lack of it. It was obvious that no matter what, it was not normal for me not to see my flow, except I was pregnant.
Here enters the need for normalcy and sustenance. I have to flow to show that I am okay or normal. Menopause shows that the fertility ability is no longer sustained, and so my flow shows continual sustenance.
Many ladies endure the pain of their monthly flow, and may panic when it’s close, but many of them will panic even more if they don’t see it, as at when due.
Here’s my point.
Life itself comes with pain… and pleasure. No matter the point or level, there is always some pain associated with achievement or maintenance.
Pain is usually mixed up with things of worth.
You want to eat right so you can look great? Well you may have to PAINSTAKINGLY plan healthy meals for the week, but the pleasure of hearing that you look great, thanks to your changed diet, will be worth it.
You want great grades in school? You will have to pray hard, study hard, and attend classes and tutorials. You may lose sleep, burn candles, struggle with strict timing, and battle with fatigue, but the results, when excellent, will be worth it.
When my flow started again, after treatment, I embraced the pain. I was told that the longer that condition continued, the higher the chances of my eggs drying up… scary!
Without efforts, nothing worthwhile happens. For every good thing you see, someone, somewhere put in some effort, for every free good thing, someone paid the bills.
My course representative, back in school, said something which stuck with me. He said life moved in the pattern of the number ‘8’, going in and coming out, switching between pain and pleasure. He said that the willingness to endure the pain, first, before seeking out pleasure is what makes life meaningful and productive.
It didn’t escape me that when ‘8’ it rotated by 90° it becomes the symbol of infinity.
It is 2018, and the first month is gone.
We have plans for the year. 2017 was a tough one, and we plan to make this year better. Everything is possible to him that believes, that’s what Jesus said, but if there was ever a man who endured pain for future pleasure, it was Jesus.
I won’t preach, read His story when you can.
This year, put in the man-hours, put in the prayer ours, put in the brainstorming hours, there are many hours, but put in your hours. Do what is required of you to attain great heights.
Now let me say here that any thing you do which robs from someone else is not appropriate, and so is not considered as your hours in the grand view of things.
Don’t lie, don’t steal, and don’t kill. Start small, start genuinely, be honest, be determined, be consistent, you will feel pain, but soon the pleasure will roll in. It may take a while, but God rewards diligence, that I have come to realise.
Just remain diligent in the right thing.
In the early hours of the next day, my sister gave birth to a beautiful girl who wailed angrily as though we snatched her away from heaven, or maybe we did.
She is so small, and I wondered how something so small could cause so much pain, but the moment I tried calming her, and she responded to my voice, the moment I carried her in my arms and rocked her to sleep, the serenity of holding her lulling me to sleep too, I realised why women go through such pain, over and over again.
The joy birthed by the pain is always worth it.
She has pink lips, curly hair, and is so beautiful, I am proud to be her aunt. I am also a self-acclaimed godmother… that’s my reward for enduring the mosquito bites at the hospital while I awaited her birth.
Make 2018 worthwhile… endure the pain.
Your comments bring out the beauty in our stories. Have your say in the comment box below. To share our story, click on the Facebook share button or on the twitter button.
Follow our twitter handle @lagosconvo
Copyright 2018 Lagos Convo.