The fear of Soldiers is indeed the beginning of wisdom.
It was a hot sunny afternoon in school that Tuesday. The staff room was almost empty as most Corps members (Copers) are not really fans of afternoon classes. I was, however, surprised to see my roommate happily returning from a class. The hot sun appeared to be on a mission, maybe to burn or melt everything in sight including human beings. I wondered how come she could afford to smile and blush that hard under that hot sun. I resolved to find out immediately she settled down in her seat. It, however, turned out that she got noticed by the village Prince. Not like she was interested in him (according to her), but that her dressing that day did the magic and after all wasn’t in vain.
She was still basking in the euphoria of the attention she got the previous day as we tiredly walked home after school. We hadn’t walked far when a Hilux van stopped right behind us. It was a huge surprise as the villagers aren’t necessarily the nice type. We were still trying to find who it could be when their uniforms caught our attention. They were soldiers on patrol.
“Corpers come nah, make we drop una,” they beckoned on us.
The joy of free ride enveloped us as we joyfully hopped in. How they got to know that we are corpers remained a mystery to us because we weren’t putting on anything to sell us out. Nevertheless, we are corpers, soldiers no fit do us anything. Or so we thought.
We happily chatted with them and we haven’t moved that far when our eyes caught something we never observed before. Lying beneath our feet and all over the hilux were different kinds of weapons and rifles, the scary ones, the ugly ones, even the ones that looked like they will just open fire if we mistakenly coughed too loud.
I gave Gracious a weird look, she understood as cold shiver ran through our veins on a sunny afternoon. We couldn’t jump out, we couldn’t scream. Who would even deliver us from the soldiers? We decided to play along, we tried as hard as possible to look comfortable, we laughed hard at their dry jokes.
Wahala started when they offered to drop us at our particular estate. We couldn’t decline, we sheepishly gave them the directions to the lodge.The soldiers won’t stop at that, they made sure they collected our numbers before they left.
The fear of Nigerian soldier is the beginning of wisdom. ”He who just got delivered from a looming trouble will undauntedly find his way home” was our slogan that day. We were grateful we were finally home.
One week later, their calls started flying in but the memories of the weapons they carried that day won’t make us mingle. We decided never to pick their calls and even when we mistakenly did, our conversations were incoherent.
Two weeks after the first meeting, something happened. We were having a swell time in the flat when an Hilux van drove into the estate with full speed. We didn’t need to be told, only soldiers drive that way. Without even minding to see the occupants of the Hilux, I dashed out of the room in a quick flash. My roommate who just got out of the bathroom saw me dashing out of the room like someone been pursued by a ghost.
“Gracious, the soldiers are back here for revenge, they are here to take us” was what she managed to hear before I dashed out. She followed suit.
It was during the process of her escape that she realized she already dropped her towel in the room. Yes, she was running naked!!! The realization of that made her trip. The sound of her fall and wail made me trip too, but we couldn’t scream, we just laid still.
Nah we find trouble, why we enter their hilux that day sef?.
From afar, we could see images parading our flat, scrutinizing both the length and breadth. After few moments, they left the lodge and drove off. It was when the distress moment was over that I came back to reality. I got stung, before I could decipher, yet another stung again…. Holy Moses! I had been lying down with soldier ants, the black thick ones at that. Now the stings were all over me, my hair, my ear and those God forsaken tiny creatures even found their ways into what my mama gave me. They entered right inside my an*s! I started jumping and darting like pin pon balls, they were all over me.
Gracious on the other hand was battling with her bruises. The little drama was better seen than described. People who saw us in distress came to help us. The sound of sorry o, sorry o, made us feel bad ourselves even more. We managed to enter the room after the whole incident in one piece. It was when we settled down that we noticed Gracious’ phone beeping to alert a missed call.
She called the strange number back, only for the person to say he came to our flat and met our door wide opened, but we weren’t there. Gracious face instantly formed a frown after the call.
“Who was that?” I inquired after pulling out yet another stubborn soldier ant from my hair.
”It was the village Prince, he drove down his father’s Hilux to check on us this evening.”
“You said what?”
“We just suffered for nothing?”
“I think we did Feyi…..”
The soldiers never had our time, Gracious replied looking dejected as she glanced yet another horrible frown at her wounds.
By Ajiboye Feyisayo
Your comments bring out the beauty in our stories. Have your say in the comment box below. To share our story, click on the Facebook share button or on the twitter button.
Follow us twitter @lagosconvo
Copyright 2016 Lagos Convo.
Otherwise stated, all stories on www.lagosconvo.com are Intellectual Property of HMG STUDIOS LTD. No permission has been granted for the reproduction of our materials in part or whole on any platform, electronic or otherwise.