THE CHURCH GIRL – THE GUARDIAN
Copyright © Ufuomaee
DISCLAIMER: Please note that this series contains some sexually explicit content, violence and offensive language. It is not appropriate for children nor an immature and sensitive audience.
“But the God of all grace, who hath called us unto his eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that ye have suffered a while, make you perfect, stablish, strengthen, settle you” (1 Peter 5:10).
Ifeanyi laid in bed watching his wife, who had fallen asleep in his arms. She looked so beautiful as she slept and snored quietly. He thought of how lucky he was that he hadn’t lost her after his sexual indiscretion.
For a moment there, he had been very afraid that she would never forgive him, that she would want to leave him. He hadn’t expected that his actions would drive her to the point of losing hope, and even seeking death. If not for his mother’s intervention, he wondered what would have become of them…because he chose to succumb to temptation.
He breathed in deeply, remembering their love making that evening. He had been surprised when she came to him to kiss him on the lips. He had been prepared to wait… He thought maybe it might take a few weeks before she would trust him again, enough to let him get so close.
Her gentle touch on his cheek reminded him of the first time she had told him she loved him. Her sweet kiss reminded him of the love he very nearly threw away. He had watched as she had undressed before him, daring to be vulnerable again. She was courageous. And how he loved her.
But their love making tonight was bittersweet. Every time he touched her, his hands reminded him of his betrayal. Her body was different. Her scent was different. She moved differently and touched him differently. He looked in her eyes, which were filled with love and desire, while his were pained with guilt from his transgression.
He remembered the foreign body he had caressed, and the other woman he had pleased, with each touch, and he was haunted by his own infidelity. He was emotional as he took possession of her body again, and felt her tremble in his arms… His wife had no clue about the torment he was going through, reliving his betrayal, while loving her. The visual of him in bed with Amaka came to mind, and he had sworn under his breath. He had bit down on his lower lip and looked at his wife who laid beneath his body.
Thankfully, Mary hadn’t heard him, being in the throes of passion. Her cries of delight came soon after, and Ifeanyi had kissed her passionately on the lips, knowing how that thrilled her more. Even her sound was different. “I love you,” she had cried, passionately clinging to him as he also released his tension and came with sweet relief. When he said “I love you”, his voice had croaked from his anguish. How could he have done what he did to a woman so wonderful..?
He released her from his arms and placed her head gently on the pillow. He crept out of bed and went to his study room. He closed the door and went on his knees to pray.
“Father, thank You so much for what happened today, between Mary and me. Thank You for delivering my marriage from the grip of the enemy, and delivering my wife from her depressive mindset. Thank You for giving her the grace to not only forgive me, but to be intimate with me again, so soon after. Thank You for how You used my mother to help us to get to this point.
“I am so sorry for disobeying your command, and for dishonouring my marriage and cheating on my wife. I’m sorry that I have not been diligent nor consistent with my responsibilities as the leader in this home. I’m sorry for the opportunity I gave the devil to ravish my home. Thank you for the victory we won today! It was only by Your grace!
“Lord, I still need Your help to overcome temptation and not to fall into sin again. I need Your wisdom to guide me in all my dealings with Amaka. I pray, Lord, that she will relent from coming after me, and finally get the message that I love my wife and I will never step out on my marriage again! Lord, even with the wedding coming up, please I need Your counsel on how to proceed. I really don’t want to have anything to do with her anymore, and I don’t think I can or should go to her wedding… Lord, what do I do? Should I quit my job?”
“Oh, Lord, please I really need to hear from You. Please guide my heart, and show me what Your will is. I promise to obey.”
Ifeanyi sighed deeply, and continued after a moment’s pause to listen to what the Spirit was saying to him. “Lord, I thank You for Your forgiveness, but I am still plagued with guilt. I want to be able to make love to my wife without constantly remembering my infidelity… I pray Your deliverance from every bondage of the enemy in my life. Please renew a right spirit within me and cleanse my mind of its corruption. I thank You because I know You have answered and will yet answer my prayer, in Jesus’ name. Amen.”
After that short prayer, his spirit was not yet relieved, so he continued in waiting, listening and praying in tongues as the Holy Spirit led him to.
Mary opened her eyes to find herself alone in bed. For a moment, she wondered if she had dreamt it, or if truly she had reconciled with her husband and had made love to him that night. Her naked, sensitized body told her that it hadn’t been a dream.
She thanked God for their reconciliation and began to pray. When she heard her two month old baby crying, she smiled, realising that life goes on, and she was happy to have her life, family and marriage back. She looked at the clock, which said it was 11:13pm. She wasn’t sleepy at all. She’d indulged in sleep over the past ten days, and now, she was tired of sleeping.
She slipped on a robe and went to her baby to find out what she needed. Her diaper was soiled and she was hungry. Mary prepared Abigail’s bottle, and changed her diaper. She carried her baby and sat on the arm chair in her nursery, and fed her. She hummed softly as she fed her daughter.
Ifeanyi popped his head in the nursery, just as Abigail finished her bottle. He smiled at Mary, and she returned his smile. “Do you want me to take over?” He asked.
“No, I’m done. She’s falling asleep,” Mary said. “Where were you?”
“I was in my study. I’m going to have my bath…”
After putting Abigail down and checking on her twin boys, Mary settled in the private lounge she shared with her husband to watch a show on TV. She’d thought of checking her blog, which she hadn’t checked over the last ten days, when she had laid in bed depressed after hearing the news of her husband’s betrayal. But she wasn’t mentally ready to read about other people’s problems yet. She needed something light and entertaining. There was nothing on, so she put on one of her favourite girly movies that she had watched many times before, but was guaranteed to make her smile and chuckle – “27 Dresses” starring Katherine Heigl.
Ifeanyi smiled when he saw what she was watching, after returning from his shower. He dressed in his pyjamas and joined her on the sofa. Mary snuggled in his arms and rested her head on his chest. His strong heartbeat was soothing to her.
Ifeanyi kissed the top of her head. “Happy Anniversary, Baby…”
Mary looked up at him and smiled. “Happy Anniversary!”
His lips came down to hers, and they shared a sweet kiss. “I love you, Mary. You know that right?”
She swallowed. “I know. And I love you…” He kissed her again, more passionately this time. They soon forgot about the movie, as they made out on the sofa. This time, Ifeanyi wasn’t plagued with his guilt. His heart was full to overflowing with the love he felt for his wife, and his appreciation at the grace he had received… He had been given a second chance, and he wasn’t going to mess it up again.
It was 1:30am in the morning, and Mary had been up for the last ten minutes, watching her husband sleeping, while laying in his arms. She swallowed hard at the realisation of her vulnerability, having so easily and quickly forgiven him after such a major betrayal of trust and disrespect of her and their marriage. The last thing she wanted to do was send the message that she would take anything because she loved him, but she knew that there was nothing he could do that she could never forgive…and that scared her.
She was even amazed to realise how much more deeply she loved him now than before. She never thought it was possible that she could love him more… But somehow, she did. Their love making tonight reminded her of her desperate desire for him, and the thought of never being so intimate with him again was just a pain she didn’t want to inflict on herself. She had it bad for him. Bad.
She sighed as she remembered Mommy’s counsel to them yesterday, especially what she had said to her. “Ifeanyi can’t be your everything…God is your everything!” Yes, but God doesn’t make love like Ifeanyi, she thought. This time around, she had to be careful to keep her faith, hope and expectations with God, and not with Ifeanyi. She had to learn to trust him again, and honestly…she wasn’t there yet… But even with trust regained, there was still every possibility that he would fall again. They both needed to be spiritually stronger, to resist the enemy and fight for their marriage.
She got down from bed, and went to her private place to pray. This was a private closet and spa room within their home that Ifeanyi had installed for her. She could access it directly from their bedroom or bathroom. When she was in there, she hardly heard a sound from the outside world. She had her own inbuilt stereo system that played different relaxing acoustic tunes or nature sounds, which were great for helping her to relax. Sometimes, she played her Christian worship songs to get her in the mood for praise and worship.
Today, she just listened to the calming sound of nature, as she got into the spirit of worship. She sang one of her favourite songs, “Jesus, Lover Of My Soul (It’s All About You)” written by Paul Oakley. She let the truth in the words wash over her and get things into the right perspective. She had to lift Jesus higher, high above her marriage, high above Ifeanyi, high above her children…high above any problem that may yet arise in her life. With Him rightly placed in her life, she could survive anything, endure all things, and do all things… She could truly do all to the glory of God, and give unconditional, unselfish love to her husband and children, loving them as Christ loved and loves her.
She began to pray. “Thank You, Lord, for reminding me of what is most important. For a while, I lost sight of You and Your purpose in my marriage. Thank You for forgiving me for this idolatry, and Lord, please keep me from falling into it again. Let my eyes be stayed on You and You alone. I place all my hopes and dreams at Your feet, Lord, and receive from You the joy of Life Eternal, the joy of knowing You…
“Thank You for saving my marriage, despite myself…despite my husband’s sexual indiscretion. I know that You are in control and that this testing will bear the right fruit in our lives. I pray that You will make Ifeanyi stronger, and give him a deeper love for You and appreciation of our marriage, so that he will always hold it in honour, and protect and cherish it as he should. Help me to trust him, to be patient and understanding with his flaws, to show him the love You have shown me, a love that defies human wisdom, and conquers all things…
“Please prepare us for the trials and temptations ahead. You said You would never give us more than we can bare…and Lord, You have been faithful! Please keep us in Your grace and lead us in the path of peace. I pray, Lord, for more of Your wisdom, to handle the issues of life, and to continue to walk in Your love, even loving my enemies.
“I lift up this woman to You, Lord. Lord, You know her, and Your plans for her… Lord I pray that Your purpose in her life will be fulfilled. I pray Lord that You will deliver her from the grip of her enemy, the Devil, and set her free to worship You. I pray for the grace to love her, if ever I should meet her again, that maybe she may see You in me, and repent of her evil thoughts and plans towards my family. Lord, have mercy on her.
“Thank You for Your love which empowers me to do all things. Thank You for restoring me to Yourself. Thank You for what You are doing, that we may not see or know or understand. Take all the glory, Lord. I love You.”
You are My child, and I love you…
Mary was relieved in her spirit. She was strengthened of God and knew that whatever laid in store for them, the glory of God would shine through.
To be continued…
“Surrender” by Summer Madness Band and Andy Flannagan
Photo credit: http://www.buzzghana1.wordpress.com