Kene can be careless sometimes. He forgot his phone on the table and zoomed off to work 10 minutes ago. The phone contains important work documents. I have been asking my husband to get a smaller phone and use it as a second phone but he doesn’t want to. Now, I can’t call him to come pick up this phone because his two sims are on this phone. I hope he realises in time and makes a U-turn to come pick it up. Let me take up the phone.
I am tempted right now to go through his phone. Before we got married we had agreed to be as transparent as possible, to keep no secrets from each other and we have stuck to the agreement. However, there’s one secret I am yet to tell him, I can’t tell him now because it might jeopardise our marriage. I will tell him in a couple of years. His phone is not passworded and neither is mine.
The temptation to check hubby’s social media apps is overwhelming and I am fighting it…
This Android device is so sleek and powerful, I should get something like this for my cousin.
Kokomma behave! Fight this temptation! Hubby has nothing to hide. Let me just scroll through his Facebook. Kene is not very active on Facebook. He occasionally posts pictures and short quotes.
What’s this? A Football news discussion group…I am seeing some posts here, err…Ah! So Kene is also a member of Bants Zone? How come I didn’t know this? Who is posting this this kind of attention seeking post here? …
What’s this red icon? Oh, it is a new message. Let me check it.
But I shouldn’t be doing this, this is an invasion of Kene’s privacy but I can’t help it, I am just curious. If he comes back and sees me reading his Facebook messages he won’t shout or express displeasure but the situation will be awkward. Maybe I should stop here, after all, what you don’t know won’t kill you. No, I am going ahead to check.
Who is Irresistible Angelina for Christ’s sake and what is she doing in Kenechukwu’s inbox? Her profile picture reveals her cleavage-baring top and mini skirt exposing fleshy laps. No, Kene cannot cheat on me! He doesn’t have any side chick. He loves me and shows it every day.
What is she typing?
…Huni wen can I see u?…
He hasn’t replied yet. Oh God! I feel like I am going to faint. Let me check their previous messages.
Oh, nothing incriminating here, this is just a series of Hellos and Hi’s. She messaged him first…it was on Tuesday last week. I feel tempted to tell her to leave my husband alone!
Who is Chioma Agade and why is she calling my husband her Sweetheart? Look at her over-bleached skin littered with black spots and pimples. She is asking him to send her money to buy a good phone so that they can chat in private, what the hell! Who is Prissy Ikwang and why is she sending kiss smileys to my husband?
Oh! Is that the sound of Kene’s car?
Let me check…
*Shifts curtains…peeps through window*
He is the one. He is back for his phone. Let me keep it here and pretend I haven’t touched it. He will have to give explanations for all these girls in his inbox.
“Dear, you are back?”
“Yes, I forgot my phone and remembered it halfway to the office! I had to turn back”
“There it is, you left it on the centre table”
“Kai! Thank God I remembered before reaching the office. I wonder what I would have done because today is going to be very hectic because of the calls I will be getting from the real estate prospectors who submitted their proposals for our firm’s new estate project. I am off! See you later”
*dashes off…turns back…*
“Koko, why are you staring at me like that?”
“Kene, who is Irresistible Angelina?”
“Who is that?”
“Irresistible Angelina…never mind, go to work”
“You look worried honey, what’s wrong? Who are you talking about?”
“Angelina, your facebook friend!”
“Wait…do I know any Angelina?…I don’t think I have anyone like that on my list…Oh, are you talking about that fake Facebook account? You have gone through my phone, haven’t you?”
“Answer me, Koko, you’ve been reading my Facebook messages”
“Ye…yes, I am sorry I couldn’t resist the temptation, I was…”
“Why are you apologising? You are my wife and my phone is accessible to you!”
“Phew! I thought you were going to make a fuss out of this, so I was scared”
“Why should I? I am not cheating on you dear, I love you too much to do that”
“I am sorry for even thinking that way, I am ashamed of myself. But who is irresistible Angelina?”
“See eh, Irresistible Angelina is a catfish. It is one of these fake accounts run by guys who pose as beautiful ladies to scam gullible men online. When I got the message, I knew it is was a scam, so I am just playing along with it. Have you not seen the one asking me for money for a new phone? These are all fake”
“The other chats are from real female accounts. Married men are becoming endangered species on facebook. There are too many desperate single women looking for hook-ups with married men. I have had cause to block so many of them immediately I detect their ulterior motives”
“But what is their problem? Why can’t they go to the single guys and leave people’s husbands alone?”
“Koko, you know many single guys are broke, but these girls want money. Also, these girls believe married men are more discreet and thus won’t be jealous or haunt them like single guys would do. They also believe that a married man is far easier to blackmail than a single guy because he has his reputation at stake and wouldn’t want his wife and other family members to get to know about his secret affairs. So he will gladly pay up to avoid a scandal”
“This is serious. Dear, you should be on your way to work now, you are already late”
“Yeah, but don’t worry, I have an excuse to give them. Now come and give me a hug before I leave”
“I am sorry for taking your time”
“I love you babe”
“I love you too”
*Walks out….drives out*
I am so relieved, I can breathe normally now! He is right. Many women are going to be after my young and handsome husband especially when they see the pictures of his car. You hags and slay queens should leave other women’s husbands alone! Go and find yours!