Yes, here I am at 35 married to a man 2 years younger and the only son of his mother. Do you think life could be more unfair, then read my diary along with me because each time I do, I wonder where I went wrong.
Don’t let me bore you with the beginning of the whole diary, let me start when the whole story started to get interesting. The other pages I’m about to skip just tell the stories of my singleness, waiting, hoping, trying so hard to be happy and almost fooling myself I was happy totally.
The first page I will share with you is Jan 1,
Daniel asked me to be his girlfriend, he is the guy in my other bank branch, he is good looking and successful, mature and understanding, we met 2 months back when I wanted to transfer some money electronically but the cash got lost in transit. I was debited but the recipient was not credited.
After waiting on the queue for about 30 minutes, my patience could no longer take me. I was about to spark when he walked by, the line did not look as if it was moving and I had to go back to the office. I had a near miss bank robbery incident while I was in school and ever since, I always tried as much as possible to spend little time in banks.
Daniel announced to the people on the queue “Ladies and gentlemen, I want us all to be attended to as fast as it can happen. So ATM issues come here-that is if you want to collect your ATM card o. Withdrawal issues, ATM not dispensing come here….”
At the end of this his speech, I was the only one without a mentioned category, he walked to me and I explained my own situation and he asked me to come with him. I was shocked at the end of the calls, keyboard tapping, calls and all that; my case is with the recipient’s bank, I had to fill a form which he went downstairs to get. While he was downstairs, I got a call from my supplier; the recipient, who thought I was making up stories about the transfer.
As he returned with the form, I was in the middle of giving the lady at the other end of the line a piece of my mind; and they were not pleasant words at all. I disconnected the call angrily and when I looked up, the smile on Daniel’s face was more infuriating. Of course, I did not hesitate to make known my annoyance. I lost a business deal because of them and all he could do was smile.
“Madam, please calm down, I am doing everything within my capacity to help, while downstairs I called someone at the other bank, but you must understand procedure is procedure, especially when it involves inter-banking.”
I did not reply to anything he said, I filled the form and dropped it on his table. I asked if there was anything else and he answered no.
My whole anger was not at him; my anger was at the situation, all my efforts to ensure the timely delivery of my goods was not working as planned. The money I transferred was not even mine, I had lost my other ATM card which had enough money on it, I was at my other bank to block the account, borrowed this one from my sister just to ensure the delivery of my goods; only for all this to happen.
I walked to my car and headed back to my office. I work with a telecommunications company and I am a manager, but as a sharp lady, I have a side business; a wine store run by my younger sister.
Daniel and I met a week later and the money was still not located; this time I was not as angry as I was before since I had been contacted through mails that my complaints was with my bank now. The only thing that took me to his office a week later. He mentioned my account was flagged due to the large amount, N1, 200,000; I opened the account years back with a student’s ID card and hardly used it for serious transactions. I opened another account when I got a job and that had been my main account till the ATM card got lost.
He saw me on the line this time and asked me to follow him, leaving other disgruntled customers behind. I sat down and stared straight into his face, refusing to apologize for my past behavior, my money and other people’s money in the bank kept their work. He asked me to fill another form and to also provide a utility bill and another current ID card, driver’s license or a national ID card, I placed all my ID card on the table and he just sat back and laughed aloud. I looked at his face and was not sure what my reaction should be. I did not want to be angry as I was the last time and besides all that was behind me. My supplier was dropped and we got another person to supply us better wines and spirits, my other account was open with a new ATM to do transactions with. I also paid back the money to my sister, so I was not ready to get angry, it is energy consuming.
“You know you are always angry, at least the both times we have sat together”
“I am not angry now”
“Ok, but why did you drop off all your cards on my desk?”
“Well, just pick whichever one you want”
“I like you, what you want to say you say, and to hell with others”
“Please, just answer me”
“Can I call you Bola,”
“Bola, you need to take it easy, you know our work needs to be done well and we follow procedures. We would like to help faster but things are just the way they are, please bear with us.”
“Thanks, so where’s the form to be filled?”.
“Here, why are you always in a hurry?”
“Well, because I work” I replied as I started filling out the form
“Where do you work if you don’t mind my asking”
I mentioned it and he looked taken aback, a telecom.
“How do you cope handling customers, since you don’t seem to have patience for us or should I say me?”
“As you said, customers, I am the customer here”
Ok o, but…”
“Sorry, here is your form. Can I leave now?”
“I need your phone number”
“It’s on the form” thinking he meant I needed to fill it on the form
“I need you to give it to me”
“Because I just need it to call you sometime”
“Because I would like to take you out, that is if you don’t mind”
It took me a while before I could decide, but when I did, I simply pulled out a complimentary card out of the purse I was about to put back in my hand bag.
He saw me off to the door and smiled as if he won a million bucks, I found myself smiling back.
Back in my car, my thought went to why he would like to take me out; was it because of the money he saw, was it because he just liked me. He looked old enough.
I concluded on the fact that he must have guessed my monetary worth and wanted to take advantage. So I decided to be hard on him when he calls.
To my surprise, he did not call when I expected his call; he later did, at least, about 4 days after I got my money back. He called to ask if I got my money, which I said yes to and he asked me out the evening after. I found myself saying yes. We dined and wined and I forgot about my promise to be difficult to get.
I later found out he was also well to do financially and even in his career. He was worth more than I thought.
Before you conclude I am being paranoid, just know that I had been duped by a guy once, that was when I was younger, he said he loved me and I believed him. He did not have a job and I did, I financed everything he ever needed only for him to get married to a younger lady behind my back; in his village.
People said I was too trusting and I was naïve as I could have seen it coming, but what’s done is done. I won’t fall victim of such lies and deception again; which I did not.
Our relationship flourished and got serious. I decided to be open minded, even when I learned about his age months after. He admitted he knew about mine from the beginning and he was willing to go ahead with the relationship in spite of that. It was too good to be true, but hey, it was true.
Daniel was way into me, even when I sometimes acted heady and stuborn, he was patient, loving, kind and understanding.
8 months into our relationship, he introduced me to his sisters, he has 2, and they were nice, I was the same age with his second sister; the second born of his mother. About a month after meeting them, their father passed away, it was a sad and an unfortunate incident. I had hoped to meet him but death was faster I guess. I met the mother when we both arrived there for the burial arrangements.
Poor woman, she was distraught. I pitied her, having lost a grandmother just the year before, I knew how she felt and could understand her grief. A proper introduction would have been inappropriate, but Daniel did it anyway.
She was not too excited by the announcement, but I could understand her state of mind at the time.
3 months after the burial, we decided to get married, now I was 34 and really happy I was finally settling down. My fiancé was all I could hope for and more, his sisters were also supporting, but I just could not get through the vibes exuding from my mother in law to be. She was never happy about anything that involved me. I shared my concerns with Daniel and he said I was blowing it out of size, that his mother was not just the chatty type of woman.
Of course she was not chatty, she was not encouraging too. She was not into anything I wore or adorned myself with. If I was not too flashy, I arrived late or any other sin she could count against me.
Well, I have the patience to accommodate her, she was just another challenge I did not mind facing; especially looking at the reward before me; Daniel.
We got married in December and it was a big affair, my parents were happy to spend all as I was the only single child of theirs, despite being the first child; all my younger ones were already married and with kids of their own. I was practically an old maid.
Everything went well, the wedding the guests’ turnout, our attires and even the color combinations of the Aso-ebis. The pictures still make my head swell. We had a getaway honey moon too, outside the country. It was heavenly. I never expected everything to turn out this perfect.
However, my whole bubble bursted when we returned from our honeymoon, my mother in law took ill and she moved in with us after she was discharged from the hospital. I decided to take a maid, who would tend to her while we worked.
This did not go well with her at all. She must have expected me to take time off work and care for her. That would not happen; she will just have to get well on her own and with the help of the domestic staff.
I am now on the last page of the 2013 diary; hold on while I open the January of the following year.
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