noun (plural acrimonies)
A sharp and bitter hatred.
I’ll like to open by saying that in love as well as revenge, a woman is more barbaric than any man.
Now that that’s out of the way, let’s talk acrimony, and I’m guessing everyone has seen the movie by now. No?
So, I have an exam in less that 48hours but I closed my books to watch “the” almighty Acrimony. Truth is, I had plans to see it at the movies during the summer break but someone sent it to me earlier and I had been saving it for reasons I can’t explain.
Everyone has been talking about it on their whatsapp story, and I was at that “just one more post” stage. Just one more, and off I was, closing my books to indulge in almost 2hours of Tyler Perry sin.
So, I have seen Acrimony and I guess I’m a little disappointed with the ending, along with a million other reviews on Google, but then, it’s Tyler Perry, I’ll be damned to say I’m surprised.
If you haven’t seen the movie, I took a few notes during the movie, like literal old school pause and scribble. I’ll be using these ercepts I like to call bullets, to give my own point of view. This is more of a, let’s not talk acrimony, but get life lessons post.
I’m going to relate acrimony to real life, to show that this could happen to anyone. Believe me, this is not a movie review because I know at this point, everyone is tired of hearing about acrimony.
I’m sure most of you are at that, just one more post, and I’ll smash my phone stage.
• “He was beautiful, the devil sure knows how to put a package together. Standing in front of me was all the things that I love… “
They say the devil comes as all you’ve always wanted. I’m sure Melinda wasn’t thinking this, when she bumped into Robert, that rainy evening on college grounds. If she had known, she would have stayed in and waited the rain out, or picked her books and kept on walking. I mean, talk about dodging a bullet… Or two.
You know how they say, if something looks too good to be true, it probably is. That’s not an old, hackneyed quote our grandmothers passed down to keep us afraid and in check. If you’re honest, that relationship, business deal or whatever that wrecked you and hurt you so much, came as the best thing you ever wanted and if it didn’t, I’m sure you thought you could change the situation. I Mean, you’re miss fix-it, right? Human mechanic, take your accolades.
That guy/girl you can’t bear to look at because of what they did to you, came as a package deal and If anyone had told you the 411, you wouldn’t have believed them.
• “Love is a bitch when she’s chained to a tormentor, and when that tormentor is a con man, just wait for the next con… “
So, there’s a basic philosophy of life, to not reveal too much too soon, or even at all. In our present clime, women are being advised to keep financial information to their chest and if you say this, you’re dubbed the daughter of Chimamanda which despite how scornful it’s intended to sound, I don’t think is a bad thing.
So, Melinda reveals too soon that her mother left her a house and over 300k USD after her death. Robert weighs in on her to use this fund to support his “dreams”, the invention of a self charging battery. Eventually, she kept paying, from a flashy car, school fees to research, till she eventually lost the house… and, her womb.
I want to talk about this from the angle of Robert’s laziness. He made her buy him a car, pay his school debts and refused to get a job, claiming it wouldn’t give him time to study. (What the !!!!!!!!!)
She spent her life taking care of a grown up man who was no good for himself, do we still need to mention that she had a double hysterectomy from the accident she had when she caught him cheating? Or let’s just blame that on her anger? I mean, it’s a Blame the victim world outchea.
You know those stories we read online about a girl training a boy in school and he ditches her or something along that line – classic Melinda story.
I have been in love before, with a con man. It was very convenient for him to fight with his father immediately we started dating and settle once we broke up. This, of course conveniently involved his father not sending him money. When I look back at it, I’m glad it was before the Buhari Era, when money still had value and a person with 1k was still rich. He’s a lawyer now, doing well for himself and I’m glad I walked out when I did, before draining my entire account and I do not miss him at all.
• “What is it about us women. Why do we always feel bad when we didn’t do shit?… “
I don’t know how God did it with women, but we were born with an often times, misguided sense of care, comfort and all whatnots.
That’s why you blame yourself when he cheats, when he flirts with other women and even when he up and leaves, you find a way to blame yourself because you can’t believe someone left for a reason other than him not being interested.
I remember when I left my first boyfriend, he blamed me for leaving, and I blamed myself too, because he was too “perfect” to be at fault.
Even if it was because he went off to college and in the words of Cardi B, “Didn’t know what number to dial”, I told myself he was busy and I was bugging him, by expecting him to call every other week, which turned quickly to months.
When we got back together after some years, he was a new person entirely, – a liar and an unrepentant cheat. “We” blamed me for leaving him and making him turn this way.
It was oh so convenient.
Same way it was, for Melinda to blame herself for leaving uhm, what was his name again? Yeah, Robert. Even if leaving him was the push to actually get a job, albeit a dishwasher job, after 18 years of pushing all the responsibility on his wife. She blamed herself, He blamed her and half the theater audience blamed her.
Waaay too convenient.
• “You don’t have to judge me, I’m my own jury, and I have already convicted and sentenced myself… “
People say Tyler Perry knew what he was doing, with the controversy that trailed this movie. I mean, if I had a dollar for every time someone asked me who I blamed in the movie, or someone wrote an article on Facebook, sharing the blame appropriately, I would be rich!
In essence, I don’t want to start an internet war, so I’m going to reserve my blames and say instead, that everyone has something to learn from the drama.
Women, please guard your money jealously. There’s an old adage that says, anything you can’t let go, don’t give. If you’re not comfortable doing something for someone, don’t do it, no matter the kind of pressure. Save yourself from being conned, my sister.
To the men, please do better. Be hardworking and support your woman, don’t shift your responsibility to her. I mean, if you’re going to turn around to claim “the man” eventually, start with putting your money where your mouth is. Like they say, if you must talk the talk, better walk the walk.
To family, please, sometimes you mean well, but let people make their mistakes and learn, so they don’t turn around blaming you for their misfortune.
To everyone who has ever been conned, in whatever way. This is from Melinda to you – Don’t ever judge yourself!